Fontan Update #1: The Death of Frank

It's 7 a.m. and things are off and running. We just sent Ayden off with Dr. D, our favorite cardiac anesthesiologist. He got a little versed this time (Dr. D said once they got to the room for the cath last month, he got a little uneasy), so he was a bit loopy when he went. The versed also meant he did some driving while under the influence. Fortunately, he was still with it enough to tell us "bye" as he left. It'll probably be around an hour and a half before we hear anything. During that time they'll get everything connected and prepped.

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On a related note, we made an unfortunate discovery yesterday morning. We had been noticing Ayden was biting or chewing his pacifiers some of late. That was unusual for him, but we didn't think much of it. Some of his two year molars are coming in, so we were thinking it was just a byproduct of that. Again, no big deal. Well, we were wrong. Yesterday we realized he was starting to bite through his pacifiers. After a quick review of the inventory, we discovered several casualties. One of them was Frank.

Frank has been through a lot with Ayden. He was the first. He went back with him for the Glenn. He became symbolic. He was one of the few Ayden could refer to by name. Yesterday, he was unceremoniously tossed in the garbage. I know it's silly to be bothered by this, but this was a tough thing for us to swallow.

Rest in peace, Frank.

There's also another problem. All of Ayden's pacifiers are the same kind. It is now clear that none of them are safe for him, meaning we had no pacifier to give him for naptime or bedtime. Nor did we have one for him this morning when going off to surgery, like Frank did with the Glenn (and would have again today). We hadn't started weaning him from his pacifiers because we knew it would be a source of comfort for him while he's in the hospital recovering from surgery.

Now, we don't know what we are going to do. We feel so bad for him. I might've tried to do it cold turkey at some point, but not now, and not like this. Last night he kept asking for his "pass" and pointing to the drawer we keep them in. I again showed him there weren't any in the drawer and tried to explain to him they were all gone. I don't know how many times I apologized to him. He went to sleep without freaking out, which was a blessing, but he pretty much wanted nothing to do with the three different types of "regular" pacifiers we gave him for bedtime.

This had to happen at some point, but this timing is really, really crappy.