We Now Return to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming: Monkey Business

A few weekends ago, Allison and I completed the baby registry process. It pretty much killed the entire weekend - we spent 3+ hours at the store on Saturday and another 3+ hours on that store's website on Sunday. We also went to another store on Sunday. Uggh. My observations from this "experience":

• How can a person so little need so much stuff? There appears to be a product available for every conceivable situation (and for several situations which are not at all conceivable). You look at all of this stuff and wonder how children were ever able to survive without carseats, baby gates, bottle warmers, baby wipe warmers, organic cleaners, and, of course, hand sanitizer.
• I clearly chose the wrong line of work. I should have gone into baby gear design/manufacturing. Is there any other area in which stuff costs so much, but get used for such a short period of time (other than the $180 pair of shoes your kid wants, but will outgrow in 6 months)? There was some fancy-schmancy stroller at USA Baby that cost $700. Sure, it had all kinds of bells and whistles - most of which the lady working there had yet to figure out how to use - but, $700? For a stroller? That probably cost $50 to make? Why did I go to law school again? Full disclosure: the $700 stroller was pretty darn cool and, if it was in the budget, I'd buy it.
• What is the deal with the monkeys? Did I miss the memo on monkeys being the new go to animal for product themes? Is it the Year of the Monkey and China secretly taken over the baby product industry (most of the stuff is probably made in China, so this would make sense, except that it's actually the Year of the Tiger)? Everything had monkeys on it - bedding, towels, bedroom decorations, shoes, hats, clothing, disposable diaper sacks (let that sink in for a moment: DISPOSABLE diaper sacks), diaper rash cream, breast pumps... Okay, so I made that last one up.

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On to more important things....

We are registered at Babies R Us. Here is our registry. If the link doesn't work, just do a search for it using Allison's name. She is the "registrant." For all of you out there in Internet land who are planning on buying something, please, please, please use the registry. We have several friends who are, or recently were, pregnant and I've heard too many horror stories. We spent a lot of time and effort doing the registry for a reason (and it wasn't because we just thought it'd be a fun way to spend a weekend).

There are things on it that are more important than others. If we were to prioritize the registry, here's how it would look:

1. Breastpump and accessories.
2. Car seat.
3. Everything else.

Ayden will spend the first 3 or so weeks of his life at the hospital. He will not be able to breastfeed. He will be able to drink breastmilk. So, Allison will need to pump much more than most mothers. Thus, the breastpump is absolutely critical. Where does this rank on the List of Things Bryan Never Thought He'd Be Discussing, you ask? I'd say somewhere in the top 3.

Of course, the world being what it is, two of the most expensive items are the most needed. If I may offer a suggestion: rather than spending 20 bucks on something small, find several other people to pool your money with and purchase one of the larger items. I may be new at this, but I'm pretty confident we would get much more use out of a breastpump, car seat, or stroller than we would out of a 19th onesie.

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Allison tells me that several people have asked her how we came up with the name. She has requested that I explain. I will try to post that explanation within the next few days.