Preparation for the Marathon

We went to doctor’s appointments and spoke with doctors. We saw diagrams and pictures. We read articles. For months, we talked and talked and talked about our son. None of that prepares one for what we have encountered this past week... I was not prepared to walk in on my baby boy, a child who had once been very active and noisy, lying limp on the table like a rag doll. I wasn’t prepared for observing Ayden arch his back and tighten his fists and feet because he had discovered he had a breathing tube. After surgery, I won’t be prepared to see him with his chest open fighting for his life. Nothing can prepare you for this life we are currently living.

For the past few days, I have been stuck in my own “shades of grey.” I have been positioned somewhere between delirium and awake. Some of that is medication. Some of it is frustration and sadness. A lot of it is exhaustion. Our mornings have started at 5AM, only to end between midnight and 1:00. I know that you haven’t heard from me, and I apologize. Bryan has acted as our family voice, while I have worked to slowly recover.

I think about all of the people that have been here along the way and how this would be unbearable without their help. In the hospital, the countless nurses and doctors have aided us through the physical and emotional pains of the past few days. I will tell you that having a baby through C-section is very humbling; one is not at her best and certainly not at her prettiest. I am so thankful for Emily, Melissa, and Annie, all nurses who served us over the past few days. I am thankful for Sarah and for Katrina, one who showed me compassion in allowing me to hold my son and one for spending an entire day saving my son’s life. I am thankful for Dr. Graves for operating so beautifully on me (and I did NOT want a C-section!) and for Dr. Kavanaugh for having loved on Ayden and his heart even before he was born.

I am grateful for those that have visited, called, emailed, texted, sent flowers, and posted to the blog. We are sorry if we have missed you or haven’t gotten back to everyone. Know that all of the support has meant a great deal to us. You all are propelling us into the next day.

Note: To those of you that made signs for Ayden-- They are in the process of being laminated and will hopefully be placed at his room as soon as possible. When that is done, we will post pictures so that you can see. Ayden knows when he is being loved on, and I know that an environment of encouragement will be just the thing for his progress! Thank you!

Both sets of parents and my grandparents have been here as well. They have been an important part of taking care of us and taking care of Ayden. They have run errands for us (buying toothpaste, blankets, etc.), and they have treated us with surprises, such as framed pictures of our precious son. My brother came from Auburn and has spent time with us in the evenings. He has taken pictures of Ayden and has had dinners with Bryan. We are blessed to have our families for the marathon ahead.

I also want to thank Elise, Phil, Max, and Alex. This family of four have been prayer warriors for our son and for us. They have also served us in countless ways: washing Ayden’s blankets, socks, and hats; washing our clothes; communicating with our friends through text, etc.; bringing Ayden a balloon, a bear blanket, and a book; reading to Ayden; visiting us and comforting and helping our family. We are so blessed to have them in our lives and would have had a much more difficult week had it not been for their love and support.

I want to say more, but it’s already 11:30. Thank you for your prayers and love.