Another Surgery Update

Allison and I just finished talking with the surgeon.  We had lots of questions for him about the dangers of waiting longer to do the surgery than what we had been told to expect.  Our discussion with him was very helpful and very productive and his answers were soothing to both of us.  Aside from saying that waiting more days provides more time for a problem to occur, he was not concerned about the wait having any long term effects (which is what we were really worried about).  He told us that there are certain factors that can increase the riskiness of the surgery - i.e., the chances that the patient would not survive.  Ayden apparently does not have any of them. Essentially, if he is not worried about a few extra days, then I am not worried about a few extra days (other than the irrational worrying of which no parent can completely rid himself).

With all of that being said, his surgery schedule has changed.  Again.  He is now the second case......tomorrow.  As long as nothing changes (and it still could between now and then), they will come to get him out of his NICU room at around noon tomorrow.  From the start of pre-op to the end of post-op will be about six hours (the actual surgery itself will take up about two of those hours).  We will get to see him before he leaves his NICU room, but he will be out of sight until a couple hours after he has been moved into his new room.

I know all of that waiting in between will be unbearable.  I have no idea what I am going to do to occupy myself tomorrow afternoon.  Sitting in his room, as I am right now, and being able to see all of his numbers and how they are (or are not) changing is stressful enough (watching those numbers is incredibly addicting - you just can't not do it).  I can't imagine what it will be like tomorrow when I don't have anything to look at to assuage my concerns.  Plus, I won't even be able to see him.

I am terrified.  I am excited.  I guess these mixed emotions will never go away.

Hopefully I look good in grey.