TO WAIT UPON YOU, LORD

I'm not as witty as my husband, so I'm sure that my posts will be less entertaining. However, I do believe that you will know my heart.

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.”

Psalm 143:8 is my favorite Bible verse. This has been my prayer when all other words fail. Bryan and I have been immensely blessed in our seven years of marriage. We have also encountered our share of challenges.

Less than a year ago we were financially struggling. We were also emotionally, mentally, and spiritually at battle. In January, Bryan started the most amazing attorney job. I felt very humbled by God’s mercy, as the job fell right before we did. God provided when we needed His provision most. His timing was perfect. He was waiting for the right place for Bryan. God is so good.

In July, I had a laparoscopy done to search for endometriosis. After 2.5 years of trying various tactics, the surgery was to be one of the final efforts in trying to determine why I wasn’t getting pregnant.

In August, the “morning (brought) me word of (His) unfailing love.” The pregnancy test was positive. I’ll be honest. I doubted the test. I took another one that afternoon, and when I continued to see positive results, I fell to my knees. God is so good.

I wish I could say that two were enough, but I took a third test, one that was foolproof, one that read “pregnant.” I cried for a third time. I’m sure that I will cry many times as a mother, and I feel so grateful for those tears.

We have no way of knowing if the surgery was what contributed to my pregnancy. What I do know is that our baby had a birthday, and it was not supposed to be one minute, one month, or 2.5 years earlier.

I have learned a lot about patience and about God’s goodness. I have learned that God’s plan is better than any plan that I could devise. I have learned that God provides, even when it isn’t what I am asking Him for. I am so thankful to those of you that have been God’s hands and feet during our struggle, and I feel immensely blessed that you all will be part of our baby’s life as well.