Some Posts About Brogan - #6

This final Brogan-palooza post isn't just about Brogan. It's about Brogan and his big brother. Brogan absolutely loves Ayden. Allison has said multiple times that if Ayden would pay attention to Brogan all the time, she wouldn't have to do a thing.

For the most part, Ayden does really well with Brogan. He gives Brogan hugs, pats him, and helps Allison get him ready for bed. He also makes attempts to play with Brogan, though sometimes we have to step in because Ayden gets a little rough. He doesn't quite understand that he can't do the same things with Brogan that he can do with us. We haven't had a major incident yet, but it's only a matter of time.

While Ayden is a source of entertainment for Brogan, the opposite is also true. We've mentioned that Ayden finds Brogan's farting and pooping noises hilarious. Additionally, Brogan is something for Ayden to roll his cars and trains over. He's also something of a guinea pig for Ayden's little experiments, like "let's see what happens if I stick this hat on his head."

For the most part, Brogan takes all of this in stride, with little to no complaint. I guess we should enjoy that while it lasts. The days when we hear a lot of "He hit me......But he hit me first" are coming sooner than we probably realize.

Ten Years

 

An Open Letter to Our Friends and Family

Because this is our 500^th post, we are taking a brief respite from Brogan-mania (there’s one more post coming) to reflect on the last two and half years, to say “thanks,” and to look forward.

As you all know, way back in December 2009, our life changed, in both expected and unexpected ways. Since then, we have been riding the rollercoaster that is life with children. While our particular rollercoaster has had some extra twists and turns to it than the average parents’, we have been blessed with any equally significant amount of love, support, and prayer. We are, and will continue to be, eternally grateful to all of you for how you have helped take care of us throughout this time. We hope to never have a reason to repay you in kind.

While you have all been wonderful and supportive of us, we feel as if we have, by and large, neglected you, our friends and family. Often, we have been late to, or even have failed to, acknowledge significant moments in your lives. While at times our life has been chaotic enough to at least make these acts of omission understandable, if we’re honest, that excuse wasn't always applicable. For this, we offer you our sincerest apologies. If you’ve felt like we haven’t cared about what’s going on with, we hope you know that hasn't been the case.

The unfortunate reality is the physical bubble we’ve had to live in since Ayden was born eventually begot a metaphorical bubble, as well. When that’s added to one of us (Bryan) already not being all that great about keeping in touch from a distance, we end up with a Grand Canyon-sized chasm between our reality and yours. For a long time, we have felt as if we live in a world filled only with doctors, nurses, therapists, some of our local friends, and our parents. With a depressingly few number of exceptions, we haven’t spent any time with the rest of you in going on three years, if not longer. To say that we’ve missed you would be a gross understatement.

We’ve missed graduations, weddings, funerals, trips, football games, parties, holidays, birthdays, family gatherings, and who knows what else. Friends, you haven’t met our kids and we haven’t met yours. Our kids have never played together. Family, you’ve never seen Ayden or Brogan in person. While this may not rise to the level of tragedy, it’s hard to argue against it being quite sad.

Despite our lack of interaction, we have asked quite a bit of all of you. In addition to the love, support, and prayers, we have, in a very real sense, asked you to be understanding of a situation you couldn’t possibly understand. (Nor would we want you to, for the only way to understand it would be to live it, and no one should have to live it.) We let you look at Ayden but told you not to touch. We told you that you had to come to us if you wanted to hang out. For those of you who came from out of town, we made you stay in a hotel. We made you take a shower, put on clean clothes, then come immediately to our house without any stops. We made you bring extra clothes to change into in case we went out. We put limits on the places we could actually go if we did leave the house. We made you tell us if you had even an inclination that you might be sick. We made you wash your hands. Repeatedly. Basically, we told you to bend over backwards to comply with our rules.

We hope it goes without saying that we did all of these things because we truly believed they were what we needed to do to keep Ayden safe, not because we wanted to. These rules were as equally restrictive on us. Our adult interaction, both as a couple and as individuals, has been so artificially limited for so long that it almost seems foreign when it does happen. We no longer feel like ourselves. Regardless, we thank you for the grace you have shown us and the respect you have given to our limitations, even if you, at times, haven’t understood or agreed with them.

We believe it was important to say all of the above. Important, but not our primary purpose for this post. The main message we want to convey is the following: WE ARE FREE!!! As of two Mondays ago – four weeks after Ayden’s Fontan – all the rules we just mentioned are no more. To the fullest extent we can possibly be, we are a normal, run-of-the-mill family. The physical bubble we were confined to has popped. We are ready to start doing the same to the metaphorical one. We can go places. We can do things. We can see people. God willing, it will stay that way.

And we want to see you – our family, local friends, church family, Clemson folks, law school buddies (a group Bryan has especially neglected) – and hang out. And catch up. And meet your kids. And . . . do all the things we used to do before December 2009 happened to all of us. We are ready to get back to a life that has you in it in a way that doesn’t involve a phone call, a text, a blog post, or an email. It may be a while before we are able to come see you. Before, there were two of us and two incomes. Now, there's four of us and only one income. That, and the medical bills we've had to pay over the last 2+ years, have us playing catch up a bit financially.

So, while we may not be able to do a whole lot right away, we hope you will start thinking about where we might fit on your social calendars. We hope to see you Clemson folks at a game this fall. For the rest, we'd love to have visitors. We don't have a bedroom for you anymore, but you're more than welcome to our floor and an air mattress, if that's okay with you.

We hope to see you soon.

With thanks,

Allison and Bryan

P.S.: Given this is post #500, we though we'd throw out some data about the blog. Two things: (1) we didn't have tracking set up until almost five months after we started this, which only serves to bolster that (2) this is just further evidence of the love and support all of you have given us.

Total visits: 70,016
Total unique visitors: 10,421
Total pageviews: 107,690
Day with most pageviews; June 10, 2010 (the day after this)
States represented by visitors: 50, plus D.C.
Countries represented by visitors: 74
Most viewed post: this one
Second most viewed post: the one linked four lines above
Site from which the blog is referred the most: Facebook (which is all you folks, since we aren't on it)

Some Posts About Brogan - #5

Maybe it just seems this way because Ayden was so far behind, but I feel like Brogan is advancing so quickly. Every week, he seems to have acquired a new skill.

I've already mentioned he's starting to roll. He's figured out how to get each of his thumbs in his mouth (and each of his hands, if he's getting hungry). He's started doing baby crunches, meaning he's trying to sit up. If it's small enough, he can hold on to whatever you put in his hand. He's reaching out and grabbing for things, like the toys hanging from his carseat and gym or the ones attached to his swing. We've seen smiles for a long time, but getting laughs out of him only started a couple weeks ago.

Above all, Brogan seems to be a big talker. When he wakes up in the morning, that's the sound you hearing coming from his crib. (He's definitely a morning person. I'm not sure where he got that from, but it certainly wasn't Allison.) If you try, he will have a conversation with you. If you ask him to tell you something, he gladly complies. He seems to especially like talking to Ayden. Actually, it's probably more like talking at him, as Ayden often isn't interested in Brogan's gibberish.

Every now and then, he'll sound like he's actually saying a word. He's shown no interest so far in "Mama" or "Dada," though several times we've sworn he's either attempted to, or succeeded at, saying "hi." In a way, that probably makes sense; Ayden probably says "hi" 50+ times a day, with many of them directed to Brogan.

***

Other things of note about Brogan:

-He's a sympathy crier. If Ayden gets upset, Brogan starts to wail. As you'd expect, this has a deleterious effect on our sanity.

-If he gets really worked up, he can let out piercing screams that would wake the dead. He usually busts it out when he's really tired, which happens too frequently because, although he sleeps great at night, he has an annoying tendency to fight sleep during the day. We think he just doesn't want to miss something, especially whatever it is Ayden happens to be doing.

-We've mentioned that he'll put anything in his mouth. That actually isn't entirely true. He'll put anything in his mouth that isn't a pacifier or a bottle. Great, huh?

-That he's noisy is well documented. However, he's even more messy than he is noisy, which is saying something. The kid drools constantly, to the point that you wonder how he doesn't become dehydrated. If you give him five minutes, he'll completely soak his shirt/bib/burp cloth/whatever happens to be near his mouth (which, if you aren't mindful, will be your hand or some part of your shirt). He also spits up with a fair amount of frequency. And, to top it all off, he has a tendency to get his poop outside of his diaper. What does all of this mean for us? Lots of cleaning and load of laundry.

-He is VERY ticklish.

-Even at this age, he loves baths. He doesn't make a peep the entire time. Ayden was not like that at all (see the bottom of this post).

-Like with Ayden when he was smaller, opinions seem to differ as to who he resembles. In our opinion, he has Allison's nose and mouth. Everything else - especially his eyes, head shape, and hairline - are pretty much me. I know, I know, God be with him as he gets older.

-Finally, Brogan's four month pediatrician appointment was on Friday. Dr. H noted that he still appears to be a very efficient eater (a bit of an understatement there, I think). Overall, she continues to be pleased with his progress. She anticipates he'll soon be indicating to us that he's ready to tackle some baby cereal. We get the distinct feeling that Brogan will be eating solids (not purees, but true solids, like cheerios) before Ayden.

8.75 kilos!

Age: four months

Height: 25.5 inches    Percentile: 75%

Weight: 19 pounds, 4 ounces     Percentile: 97%

Some Posts About Brogan - #4

Brogan isn't a real big fan of being still. Typically, he's content to be in one position for about 15 minutes maximum. After that, he's ready to move on to the next one. For weeks, he's had enough head control that we could bust out the Bumbo. As you've seen some already, and will see more of again soon, the Bumbo allows the boys to interact. Or rather, it allows Brogan to be Ayden's guinea pig.

His favorite thing to do is probably standing up. Or, rather, his favorite thing is for one of us to hold him in a standing position. I think he likes this the most because it allows him to see as much of his surroundings as possible. He is always very interested in what's going on around him, especially if it involves Ayden. You wouldn't believe it by looking at him, but he even gets distracted while he's eating.

Like Ayden when he was younger (and probably like most babies, I guess), Brogan flails with his arms and kicks his legs a lot, especially when he is happy. For the longest time, this was the extent of his movements. Then he started lifting his knees up in the air, eventually leading to the discovery of first one foot, then the other. Just recently, he's started grabbing them both at the same time. I imagine they'll soon be in his mouth, if his belly doesn't provide too large of an impediment.

(Everything Brogan gets his hands on goes in his mouth - blankets, burp cloths, towels, his fingers and hands, Allison's hair, his shirt sleeve, somebody else's shirt sleeve. It looks like he's going to be that kid, the one we have to watch like a hawk as he gets older so that he doesn't swallow a coin, a lego, or something else that would lead to a trip to the hospital. He is very different from Ayden in this regard.)

Don't mind me, I'm just eating my bib.

Within the last few days, he's started to roll from his back to his side. He's really close to going all the way over onto his stomach. The only thing stopping him is his arm and shoulder. He either doesn't want to get them out of the way, or he hasn't quite yet figured out how. We expect him to go all the way any day now. Until then, we'll just have to keep putting him on his stomach directly. He actually enjoys this for a while. He will hold his head up really well, until his able to get one of his hands in his mouth.

One other thing he seems to do is respond to music by moving. This is one way in which he would be very much like his big brother. He either starts "dancing" or he becomes completely still and gets very focused.

We don't yet have any video of Brogan rolling on his side, but we do have some of his other movements. As you'll see at the end of the below clip, there is a significant challenge to recording Brogan - Ayden. His big brother has become such a fan of the camera that it's hard to keep him from inserting himself into the equation. Another thing you'll see is that Ayden isn't always mindful of how his movements might impact Brogan

Some Posts About Brogan - #3

Allison has requested that I refrain from including comments/jokes about his weight in each of these posts about Brogan. Thus, I'll just get it all out of the way now, in this post.

To say Brogan is a big boy would be an understatement. He turned four months old on Thursday. If the measurements we took yesterday are verified at this Friday's pediatrician appointment, Brogan is almost 26 inches long (75th percentile) and weighs in at just under 20 pounds (97th percentile). He has gained six pounds in the last two months, even though for several weeks he has been sleeping from around 8:30 at night until around 7 in the morning, with an occasional feeding at around 4:30-5. Clearly, he continues to be an efficient eater.

The interesting thing about Brogan's size and weight is that, at first glance, you wouldn't realize exactly how big he is. Unlike Ayden, who's already round face got fat and even rounder when he beefed up before the Glenn, Brogan's face has just recently started to show signs of plumping up. He's carrying most of his weight in his midsection and thighs, so if he has clothes on, you can tell his a healthy baby, but you don't get the whole picture. If he just has a diaper on, it becomes impossible to not notice that he's huge.

The size of his thighs have now reached comical proportions (as has the width of his midsection, especially if you look at his back while he's sitting up). He has officially grown out of size two diapers. His waistline is somewhat to blame for this, but the main issue is his thighs had simply become too fat for the leg openings. It was like he was wearing string bikini diapers. Additionally, his baby fat was taking up all the space in the diaper, leaving nowhere for poop to go except out the back.

He has also moved on to the realm of 6-12 month clothing. He can also wear some 9 month stuff, but anything else is too small. (For the love of all that's holy, could we please get some uniformity as to size across kids' clothing manufacturers? Is that really too much to ask? Could they at least all move to the same sizing convention?) Since he is wayyyyy ahead of Ayden's pace, we have sorta run out of hand me downs for Brogan to wear. There were born roughly the same time of the year, but it was the middle of winter before Ayden got into this size range (when he was actually between six and twelve months old). Brogan is there (at four months old, remember) and summer has barely started. This is great for our local friends who just had, or are about to have, a baby boy, but it's creating some issues for us. At this rate, Brogan's going to be able to wear Ayden's clothes while Ayden is still wearing them.

Yes, I even have rolls in my armpits. You got a problem with that?

And it's not just that he's fat. He's also pretty long for his age. Last night, he wore a pair of 9 month pajamas to bed. There was a little bit of extra room available lengthwise, but not a whole lot. This is another reason why he doesn't necessarily look as big as he is - his length allows him to spread his baby fat out a bit.

As I understand her, his pediatrician expects his weight gaining pace to taper off as his transitions off of breastmilk. We'll likely start that process when he's six months old. At his current pace, he'd be about 26 pounds at that point. (For some perspective, Ayden weighs around 28.5 pounds right now, which is probably pretty close to middle of the road for his age.)

If something like that happens, our plan to use a lot of Ayden's clothes for Brogan will be in shambles. Or maybe he'll get so far ahead that next summer, when he's going on 1.5 years old, he'll be able to use what Ayden is wearing this summer, when he's going on 2.5. That, or we're going to need to start charging our friends a small fee for Ayden's old clothes to help finance buying an entire wardrobe for Brogan.

Mom and Dad, I don't think this is how diapers are supposed to fit.

Some Posts About Brogan - #2

As has been mentioned, Brogan ain't exactly the quietest baby you will come across. For a long time, this was especially true when he was sleeping, even though that makes no sense whatsoever. For the longest time, we would hear a series of increasingly loud noises emanating from his room, usually beginning about 30-45 minutes before he actually woke up. He's awake in these clips, but this is what he would sound like as he was slowly waking up:

Though it isn't like that anymore - now, he just wakes up and makes happy noises (that sound pretty much like this) - every now and then he we still be noisy while he's sleeping. Below is an example. I'm not sure I want to know what he was dreaming about.

Some Posts About Brogan - #1

For reasons that I suppose are understandable given the circumstances, Brogan has been neglected by this blog over the last several weeks. Today, I start making up for that (expect a lot of pictures and video).

We begin with an "old" clip of him. He had barely been around for two weeks when this was taken. It's irrefutable evidence that he's been a noisy little bugger right from the beginning.

Again, that's Brogan when he was just two weeks old. He looks so little, right? Well, Two Week Old Brogan was, I think, at some point eaten by Four Month Old Brogan (clip taken today):

"Perry. Pillow. Paci. Night Night."

I am so glad to be reunited with my train set!

At Ayden's cardiology appointment on Thursday, his chest x-ray showed improvement! He no longer has the lung collapse, and there may/may not be (yeah, that fuzzy picture is such an exact science!) some slight effusion on the edges of his troublesome right lung. Dr. K decided to keep him on his current diuretic regiment, just as a a precaution. According to the scale, he had gained the weight back that he had lost. (We are a little doubtful of the amount, though we feel confident there was at least a gain. Way to go on the eating and drinking, Buddy!) His incision looks a little gruesome; apparently, it is healing differently than it did for the previous surgery, and that slow healing is keeping him from immersion (blah! no pool!). Long story short, Ayden was a rock star at the hospital, and he returned home with good report. Phew!

"Choo choo!"

Mama: "Pat your incision. Don't scratch."
Ayden: "But it itches, Mama!"

Ayden's first few days at home were somewhat trying. Mostly we dealt with a significant amount of whining, and there was some disruption to Ayden's naptime and evening slumber. (Poor Bryan had numerous requests for "Daddy.") Ayden obviously hated his itchy incision; brushing teeth became a horrendous nightmare; and his overall movement was a little rickety (i.e. he looked like an old man).

But he's recovered quickly. He is now using a toddler pillow in his toddler bed! He craves "cheese" puffs, french fries, and tomato "sauce." He only struggles to move when he is in the squat position. He talks nonstop, using every available vocabulary word and pointing out every person, place, and thing he knows. He is even smiling and laughing... so good to see!

Patting Daddy

Organizing (Yes, I am so like my mama.)

Helping Daddy

 

My first attempt to get in my "new" bed

Trying it out...

"Perry. Pillow. Paci."
(Ayden's necessities for a good sleep)

 

Honestly, we were expecting to still be in the hospital at this point. We are so blessed to have Ayden home and doing well. The house was noticeably and sadly quiet without him. Even Brogan missed his brother:

 

 

And a good brother (and son) he is!