We Want Your Input

We are in the early stages of buying a new car. Allison will be the primary driver. It will be the main transport for Ayden and Brogan over the next several years (and just for them; the Allison and Bryan Baby-Making Factory has closed its doors for good). We would like you, our readership, to help us out.

If you have kids, do you like the car you use to ferry them about? Does it have enough space, not only for the kids, but for all their crap, too? How easy or difficult is it to get the kids in and out of their carseats? If your kids are older, is it easy for them to get themselves in and out of out the car? If you are a short person, how are the sight lines? Can you see out the back? Is it easy or difficult to park? What kind of mileage does it get? Have you had any problems with it? Please share with us.

There are some types of vehicles we are not considering: SUVs (Allison is too short), minivans (over my dead body), large crossovers (see: SUVs). So, we're looking at 5-doors, sedans, and wagon-like vehicles. If you have such a vehicle that you like, love, or hate, we want to hear about it. Either post a comment, or send us an email. Thanks!

Heart Families

When you have children that are about to undergo serious surgery in June, you become aware of all the things that you want them to do before the big day arrives. Diana and I have tried to get Jude and Ayden together more often this past month. The boys are playing well together. Sometimes they seem just content to be playing in the same room. Occasionally, they take toys from each other, but they do a decent job of giving them back or at least taking instructions from a parent on how to share. Getting pictures of the two is nearly impossible, but...

The boys love to play trains.

Diana told me about a great opportunity for our families to meet up at LifeWay to interact with Matt Hammitt of Sanctus Real. Matt published a children's book called I Couldn't Love You More based on the lyrics from a song of the same title. The song was written as a lullaby to his son, Bowen, who also has hypoplastic left heart syndrome. Bowen, like Jude and Ayden, is awaiting his third surgery, the Fontan.

In Ayden's copy of the book, Matt writes, "To Ayden, God loves you, and your special heart, so much more that you can imagine. Matt Hammitt Psalm 139"

The heart world is somewhat small, and we have met a lot of amazing people during our family's journey. Please pray for our families as we struggle and rejoice in this next surgery. Please continue to pray for our new friends, the Melchiorres, as their son, Paul, recovers from the second surgery, the Glenn.

Spilled Milk: The Adjustment Period

The above pictures were taken one morning shortly after Brogan and I came home from the hospital. I remember feeling very emotional about having both boys in my arms. I was thrilled that Ayden would get that close to Brogan, but, more than that, I was glad he was curled up next to me. Ayden and I had both struggled significantly over that month: I was so often in and out of the hospital that there was nothing normal about his life; I missed him, and he missed me, and our relationship was strained with all the newness and confusion. It had once been mostly just the two of us during the day, and then all of sudden, there were a lot of other people taking care of him... not to mention the arrival of a baby brother. Things have smoothed out between he and I since then (In fact, I think we are even closer than we were before!), but we can all say that our lives are still very different.

Ayden navigating our zoo trip a month ago:
"Now. Where are the flamingos, meerkats, and fish?
And we have to hit up the train!"

 

 

My mom and dad left shortly after our homecoming from the hospital. I remember Mama telling me, "If you start to cry, that's a good indication that you need to stop what you are doing and breathe." That's some of the best advice I have received while taking care of a toddler and an infant. I haven't cried that much over the past two months (I don't have time!); usually if I break down, it's because of something that I have done to make my life harder, not something the boys have done. On two separate occasions, I spilled breast milk that I had just pumped all over our bedding. "Don't cry over spilled milk" took on new meaning for me.

Nursing, in general, has been a challenge for me. I remember being in the hospital with the lactation consultant thinking, Do I really want to do this? Of course, I wanted to nurse; I just wasn't sure if I could. I didn't realize how just finding the right position for child and self could be so difficult, and then one deals with the initial discomfort (and sometimes pain). On top of those things, I was overwhelmed by the shear number of times one has to nurse in one day! Bryan asked me, "So how natural do you find this process?" I actually don't feel like there is much natural about it at all! My friend, Mary Jane, encouraged me, "Don't give up on nursing. You can do it!" She was right. Luckily, things have gotten significantly better, and I'm glad that Brogan and I have been able to form that bond. I didn't have the opportunity to nurse Ayden, and it was something that I really struggled with as a mother. (By the way, Bryan gave Brogan a bottle with an ounce of breastmilk, and he slurped it in seconds! The doctor estimates that he eats between four and six ounces a feed; she wouldn't be shocked if it was six!)

Bryan and I have been somewhat befuddled by the addition to our family. Bryan and I have never had a newborn at home, so we don't know how to do, well, anything. I spent the first few weeks concerned about everything: Are these noises okay? (Pediatrician says so.) Is he getting enough sleep? (I don't think he did at first.) When does he sleep through the night? (I guess we all ask this.) Does he get enough to eat? (Um, yes!) What do I do for baby acne? (Nothing.) Why is he so fussy in the early evening? (Apparently, this is fairly common among most babies. My friend Courtney calls it "the witching hours.") What's the deal with this umbilical cord? (Even when Brogan's fell off, some of the black leftovers remained in his belly button for a short time.) We have learned about seedy yellow poop, how to change Brogan's positions to make him less fussy, that he needs Vitamin D (and I do too), that most mammals are fussy at six weeks of age of no discernible reason, etc. I'm sure there will be no end to what we will learn in order to best care for our youngest son!

Handling both a toddler and an infant is busy stuff! But I think I forgot that Bryan, Ayden, and I are not the only ones making adjustments. Brogan was happily living in my belly before he was snatched from the womb. He came out screaming, and I suppose I can't blame him. The first six weeks with Brogan were difficult. All babies are needy, but he seemed unusually so. He wanted to be held all of the time, even while sleeping, and he fussed fairly often. People kept telling me he was gassy or that his belly hurt, so we gave him Mylicon and I changed my diet. I'm not sure those changes made much difference. I knew that we weren't paying enough attention to his needs, but I was struggling to keep up with all of the diaper changing, feeding, cleaning up messes, and refereeing. When I would get Brogan to sleep in his chair, Ayden would play with his popper or scream with excitement or pull Brogan's socks off. And the moment you placed a sleeping Brogan on a flat surface, such as a pack & play or crib, he would immediately wake screaming. We even tried the swing, to no avail.

But when Ayden had his heart cath last Friday, Brogan and I had some Mama and son time. I actually felt sorry for Brogan that day. I discovered that he was terribly misunderstood. I finally realized what most of his fussiness meant (either a need for sleep or a need for attention), and our daytime lives have improved as a result. I have been able to establish a semi-flexible schedule. I can now even put Brogan in the swing, and he's so asleep, Ayden doesn't wake him up! I have carved out more time to peer into his eyes and talk to him... and he has begun to coo and talk to us! We love his sweet noises... and the dinosaur ones!

 

So things are significantly better, and we are feeling more and more like a functioning family of four every day. Below you can see bathtime with Brogan. Once he got past the first few baths of peeing and pooping in the tub, he now quite enjoys the process and is really a delight.

I'm enjoying watching the boys grow together. I feel so proud and joyful and blessed. Thank you, Lord, for showering me with your goodness!

 

Lil' Dinosaur

Brogan accompanied me to lunch with my new friend, Colleen. Hidden beneath his carseat and stroller, he was comfortably slumbering. Then it came: the squawking and screeching. Colleen peeked in to check on him, and I waved it off, "That's just our pterodactyl." Colleen was delighted. "He's a lil' dinosaur!" she exclaimed.

To say Brogan is "loud" does not give him due credit. He makes noises that most have never heard from a baby. He usually sounds like something out of Jurassic Park, the velociraptor maybe. Sometimes he can be confused with a herd of elephants or a flock of geese. And the kid sleeps soundly through the noises. Too bad no one else does. Our friend, Elise, tells Brogan, "One day we will stop comparing you to animals."

Not hardly.

Now the poor kid has taken on a big boy appearance (he's wearing 3-6 month clothing and a size 2 diaper!), so you know where that leads... chunky monkey, hungry hippo, little piggy.

Brogan went to the pediatrician today:

6.35 kilos!

Age: two months

Height: 23.25 inches     Percentile: 50-75

Weight: 14 pounds     Percentile: 90-97

 

 

 

After hearing how often Brogan eats, how long he eats (5-7 minutes each side), and how many diapers he produces, the pediatrician commented, "Clearly, Brogan is an efficient eater." While talking to the doctor about Brogan's growth, Brogan placed his hand in his mouth and began sucking; he was so loud (and obviously hungry) that Dr. Hood got tickled mid-sentence and began laughing.

But eating and making noises aren't his only talents.

The pediatrician was thrilled with his overall development. He is sleeping four to six hour stretches at night, and he sleeps in his own crib (as opposed to the bassinet in our room) in a regular sleep sack (not a swaddle). He has excellent strength in his neck, arms, and legs. He holds his head up fairly well, pushes off with his hands and feet, loves being on his tummy and bouncing with his legs. He is just now holding onto objects. He looks at people when they are talking, and he responds with sweet noises and smiles. We are so blessed by our lil' dinosaur!

 

 

Ayden's Broboo

When I was pregnant, people always asked me, "What does Ayden think about the pregnancy? Does he know what is happening?" Now that Brogan is here, everyone now wants to know how Ayden is adjusting...

Ayden met Brogan when Brogan was just two days old. Ayden was cagey about the wiggly little human. He wasn't interested in touching the new baby, let alone holding him. Well, those days of disinterest, and perhaps fear, are long gone.

Almost every day, Ayden asks to hold his younger brother. He has learned to place his hand under Brogan's head (sometimes he lands his hand on B's forehead, but at least he's mindful), and Ayden knows that he has to be seated on a couch or in the floor to hold Brogan. The endearing moment doesn't usually last long and is, therefore, incredibly difficult to capture on film, but I've managed to snap a few photos of the proud brother.

I can pick him up myself!

To say our oldest son is now "interested" in baby brother doesn't cover the relationship that is quickly forming.When Brogan cries, Ayden attempts to comfort him: Ayden will pat Brogan's belly or back or rock Brogan in his sleep chair, and the big brother is sometimes intriguing enough and/or sweet enough to quiet the wails. He shows Brogan how to use toys, and he shares his own toys with him. Ayden tries to read him books or hands me books to read to him. He leans into him to give him kisses or hugs. My favorite thing he does is play peek-a-boo with him (and he has two ways to do this with Brogan!).

HOP! HOP!
(Ayden put on a finger puppet bug show,
which consisted mostly of Ayden placing finger puppets on Brogan's head.)

You hold it like this.

"Five little monkeys jumping on the bed..."

Yes, Ayden has moments of jealousy. Yes, we have to often remind him to be gentle. And, yes, as much as he wants to help take care of Brogan (Ayden helped me dress Brogan recently), there are just some things (like diaper changes!) that Ayden has to just learn he isn't big enough to handle... yet. With all that being said, I believe Ayden is becoming a fantastic big brother, and Brogan is quickly becoming equally as doting.

NOTE: If you are confused by the pictures of Ayden with the feeding tube, don't be. They are older pictures of Brogan & Ayden. I am significantly behind in posting to the blog! Ayden has been without a feeding tube for two months now! Praise Jesus!